Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy Seattle

Couples therapy is not strictly for relationships in crisis.

Couples Therapy SeattleOften, it is the greatest tool we have to prevent a loving union from falling into crisis.

Many couples find that working with a couples therapist early on in the relationship is the key to gaining a better understanding of their partner. It is a safe place to discuss difficult topics and to learn how you relate to each other as a couple, to understand each other’s reactions and behaviors, and come together in a loving, rational, and respectful way.

I am trained in the Gottman Method of couples therapy. Through this approach, I apply proven assessment techniques and intervention strategies to support you in learning how to navigate conflict, improve communication, strengthen friendship, deepen intimacy, build trust, and share your life’s purpose and dreams with your partner.

In couples therapy, we will assess your strengths as a couple as well as help you move through areas of concern. Through the process, you will gain tools to help you process conflict in a productive way.

The goal is to help you heal from your past hurts and deepen the connection between you. In many cases, you will find that some of your most contentious issues are put to rest, simply through gaining a clearer understanding of why we communicate and behave the way we do.

What is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method differs from some approaches to couples therapy as it addresses both parties individually, as well as together as a couple.

We begin with a joint session, followed by individual sessions with each partner. You will be asked to complete a questionnaire and will receive detailed feedback about your relationship.

The feedback sessions are followed up with therapeutic interventions designed to strengthen your relationship in three distinct ways:

  • Friendship
  • Conflict resolution
  • Creating shared meaning

The goal of couples therapy using the Gottman Method is to increase intimacy, affection, and respect between you, and to defuse contentious verbal communication. Once we remove these barriers, you will experience a heightened sense of empathy and understanding of your partner, leading to more harmonious interactions.

There are many aspects and nuances of the work, but for couples who are successful, it has opened up aspects of caring and commitment that may have previously been a barrier.

Some of the issues we will address include:

  • Conflict and arguments
  • Difficult, poor, or inadequate communication
  • Emotional distance
  • Specific issues, including infidelity, parenting, finances, and sexual difficulties

Am I The Right Couples Therapist For You?

The couples who are the most successful in therapy are those who are focused on finding common ground and resolution – and less focused on just “being right.”

Many of my couples therapy clients have been to a therapist before but were disappointed in their therapist’s passive approach. I am not the kind of therapist that will just nod and take notes while you go over the same ground, rehashing the issues that you and your partner have been experiencing for years.

Instead, I am an active participant in your treatment. I will offer you honest feedback and actionable suggestions that you can put into practice immediately to support you in reaching your goals.

I will work closely with you, giving you strategies that have been scientifically proven to facilitate growth, cultivate trust, and foster healing.

My ultimate goal is for you to move forward and to help you let go of the negative experiences from your past that are preventing you from having the life and the relationship that you desire.

In my experience, the couples who are the most successful in therapy have a few things in common:

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They come to me fully prepared to do the work and ready to figure out what has been keeping them stuck in a rut.

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They are tired of their old, dysfunctional story, and they are ready for a new narrative. They are prepared to change and move forward with their lives.

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They are invested in the health of their relationship and ready to do whatever it takes to get back on track.

What If My Partner is Unwilling or Hesitant to Come to Therapy?

Couples therapy is most effective when both parties are invested in the process and willing to do the work. Sometimes, this is easier said than done. Often, however, it’s just because one person has anxiety about the process and is fearful about what they might have to face.

To ensure you are both comfortable with the therapy, and with me as a therapist, I offer a complimentary consultation to get you started. This session allows you to ask questions and learn more about couples’ therapy, and to address any concerns you and your partner might have about moving forward.

As your therapist, I work with both of you – together and individually. I am fully invested in your health and happiness and will work with you to support you in achieving your shared relationship goals.

However, after your introductory session, if you find that you or your partner are not ready to engage in couples’ therapy, individual therapy is absolutely an option and highly recommended.

Please reach out to schedule your introductory session or to learn more about couples therapy and the Gottman method.

In the words of Dr. John Gottman:
To make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes and dreams.
Are You Ready to Get Started? Reach out today to set up your consultation.