Parents are often concerned about the social ramifications of bringing their child or teen to therapy sessions. Some may worry about being judged by family members or friends, while others may fear they aren’t doing a good job at parenting. However, nearly half of mental health concerns begin by age 14.
Just like adults, some of the struggles and challenges children face can be difficult to cope with alone. Untreated mental health issues can cause severe and lasting impacts on health development and everyday function.
Seeking support for your child is an essential step in reducing emotional distress related to untreated mental health disorders. But how can you tell if your child needs therapy, and what should you expect from a child therapist?
How Do You Know When a Child Needs Therapy?
Since children express their feelings and respond to stressors differently than adults, it can be challenging to know for sure when your child needs therapy. Their age, development level, and social setting are just some of the things to consider. But if your child shows any of the following signs and symptoms, they may benefit from child therapy:
- Defiance or talking back
- Sudden change in interests
- Excessive worrying or sadness
- Any regression to earlier behaviors (bathroom accidents, tantrums, etc.)
- Social isolation
- Self-deprecating language
- Experiencing an adverse life event
- Change in energy levels (either more tired or more energized)
- Increase in risk-seeking behaviors
- Discussions of self-harm or suicide
- Over-attachment to one parent
But before you schedule your child’s therapy sessions, you should also ask yourself:
- How often do I see or hear these things in my child?
- What feels typical for a child of this age group?
- Does this happen in more than one context (i.e. home, school, extracurriculars)?
5 Popular Types of Therapy for Children
These days, there are a variety of mental health services available for children.
1. Play Therapy
Play therapy uses toys, books, games, dolls, and more to meet your child where they’re at. Using games and toys can create an environment that helps identify the emotions and behaviors in children.
2. Art Therapies
Painting, sculpting, music, and other art forms are alternative avenues for children to identify emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Art therapy allows kids to explore their feelings creatively and in a healing manner.
3. Family Therapy
Family therapy is for the entire family unit. Family therapists help identify and resolve problems within the family and help them improve communication techniques, establish boundaries, and improve their relationships.
4. Behavioral Therapies
Behavioral therapy is an umbrella term for specific types of therapy. The most commonly used behavioral therapies for children are:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive behavioral play therapy
- Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
These therapies focus on identifying negative behaviors and thought patterns and finding ways to replace them with more positive ones.
5. EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy for children is a special kind of therapy that helps them deal with tough experiences by using techniques that stimulate both sides of the brain. It’s a safe way for children to work through their feelings and get support.
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How to Explain Therapy to a Child
Parents worry about telling their child they’re going to therapy without causing stress or anxiety. But this is an important step, and there are ways to approach the conversation sensitively and positively.
- Involve your child’s therapist. Your child’s therapist already knows how to have these conversations. Don’t be afraid to ask the provider for advice. The therapist can give you specific advice for your child’s age, developmental level, and temperament.
- Pick the right time. It’s best to explain what’s happening when things are calm, and tempers are even. Make sure you present the idea gently.
- Choose your words carefully. Use age-appropriate language to explain what happens in therapy and break the big ideas down into simpler ones to help your child understand how therapy will help them. Let them know it’s more than just talking. Your child will probably play some games or create art, and ultimately, working with a therapist will give them a safe space to talk and receive support.
- Check the therapist out. Make some time to research the therapist with your child. This will help them feel more comfortable ahead of the appointment. Encourage your child to write down any questions they might have before their first appointment.
- Respect their privacy. Let your child know that their treatment is private and avoid pressuring them to discuss what happens in their therapy sessions. If the therapist has safety concerns, they will make a plan to discuss the information with you.
What to Expect at Your Child’s First Therapy Session
Similar to a visit to the doctor, the first visit to the therapist involves paperwork. Sometimes, the forms are completed online, but they’re often done in the waiting room. Parents will likely fill out a questionnaire about their child’s medical, behavioral, school, and social experiences, and your child may have a separate set of forms to complete. The therapist will review the answers right before or during the first session.
Parents and guardians are often more involved in the first few therapy sessions. Many therapists will ask about your child’s life, hobbies, and interests, though guardians are often best at providing details about the child’s world.
The therapist’s goal during this meeting is to gather information and develop a rapport with you and your child. At some point, the therapist may ask to speak to the child alone, but only if they’re comfortable with it.
What Questions Do Child Therapists Normally Ask?
At the beginning, the therapist will ask about any specific goals you have for therapy. For example, some parents want to see an increase in their child’s self-esteem, while others may want to see more motivation. Knowing what you want to see more or less of is a good way to set goals for your child’s therapy.
The first session is the perfect opportunity to talk about specific worries you have about your child. Perhaps you have concerns about their social skills or academic performance. You may also be asked to list your child’s strengths or what their skills are. This could include positive coping skills or things your child does exceptionally well.
Communicate Any Changes
Transparency in therapy is essential. It may be intimidating to discuss challenges or setbacks, but these discussions are necessary in order to best track progress. Plan to update your child’s therapist on what you notice outside of sessions. This also includes informing your child’s therapist of any stuck points or areas where there hasn’t been improvement. Some parents may feel bad or ashamed if they do not see any progress in their child’s treatment, but it’s important to remember that progress is not linear!
How Long Before Child Therapy Works?
The length of therapy depends on many factors, but your therapist will give you a rough timeline at the first session. However, it’s critical to remember that it’s difficult to nail down the specifics. Children grow and progress at different rates, and your goals, how often you visit, and major life changes will impact how long therapy takes. Modeling the behavior you want to see is a great way to reinforce progress and move things forward.
You may wonder, “What if my child is not making any progress in treatment?” or “What happens if I disagree with my child’s provider?” Both of these are tough talking points, but it’s crucial to raise them if that’s how you feel. Having these discussions will allow the clinician to tweak their approach or refer you to someone you might be of better support.
Therapy Will Improve Your Child’s Behavior
While therapy won’t always reveal immediate improvements, working with a therapist can be extremely beneficial. A child therapist can not only help your child modify their problem behaviors but can also assist in goal-building, communication, parent coaching, bonding, and self-expression.
Parents who send their kids to therapy are more likely to respond to their children’s needs with support and compassion. Children and teenagers who have been to therapy are more likely to be in touch with their feelings and are more likely to utilize positive coping skills in the face of distress. Ultimately, seeking support for your child can benefit the entire family inside and out.
