Your Guide to Intensive Couples Therapy

Choosing couples therapy is a brave choice. It means you and your partner are ready to strengthen your relationship and build a lasting foundation together. For most couples, that means weekly sessions with a therapist, but that once-a-week format isn’t for everyone. That’s where intensive couples therapy comes in.

It’s an alternative to traditional couples or marriage counseling and can help you gain clarity and build momentum, leading to some real breakthroughs quickly. But, just like traditional couples therapy, intensives aren’t for everyone. Here’s everything you need to know to help you make a decision.

What Is Intensive Couples Therapy?

Intensive couples therapy, sometimes called marathon therapy or marathon couples therapy, is designed to help you and your partner address your relationship concerns and make significant breakthroughs quickly, resulting in lasting change. While it can be done as a stand-alone therapy, intensive couples therapy can also be a complement to ongoing couples therapy

Over the course of a day, a few days, or a single weekend, you and your partner participate in therapy sessions that are anywhere from three to six hours long, though there are breaks and transitions incorporated into the session. However, it’s not called “intensive” because the sessions are long. It’s because the sessions are structured and focused in a way that helps you achieve forward momentum in your therapy and relationship. Instead of brushing the surface of your concerns and waiting until the next session to explore them, intensives allow you to have longer conversations and do the deep exploration that results in a breakthrough.

Your therapist created an intensive therapy program that’s tailored to your situation and uniquely addresses your relationship concerns. The focused, structured work includes exercises that allow you to develop and practice new skills that are balanced with less structured activities, like talk therapy.

>>Learn more about our approach to couples marathon therapy

How Is Intensive Couples Therapy Different From Traditional or Weekly Couples Therapy?

Traditional couples therapy is usually just one session per week for 60 minutes. The first therapy session is with the couple and the therapist. However, the next two sessions are usually individual counseling sessions, one for each partner alone with the therapist. These individual sessions help the therapist get to know each partner as an individual and for each partner to evaluate how they feel about the therapist outside of their romantic relationship.

While this three-session evaluation is normal, it means that three or even four weeks have passed before you “start” therapy, and some couples need to address their issues much sooner. In intensive couples therapy, there are no individual sessions. You start addressing your issues almost immediately. It’s important to note, though, that some therapists will ask clients to complete individual sessions prior to the intensive.

The other major difference between intensive couples therapy and traditional couples therapy is that there is a “pause” between sessions. While the pause in traditional therapy allows couples to practice their skills and experience how it impacts their relationship, when someone touches on a topic that needs exploring, they may not be able to in that session because they run out of time. Intensives provide ample time and space to explore those topics as they happen and often more deeply than you would in a single traditional therapy session.

Who Should (and Shouldn’t) Consider Intensive Couples Therapy?

Intensive couples therapy isn’t for every couple. But if you’ve tried traditional couples therapy and it doesn’t feel like you’re making progress, or you’re in crisis and trying to navigate conflict (like you’re seriously considering divorce or just discovered infidelity in your relationship), intensive couples therapy may be a good choice. It can help you stabilize your relationship quickly, giving you a solid foundation for continuing your progress.

It’s also a good choice for couples who want to do couples therapy but are short on time, or daily life is too busy for weekly therapy, and for those who don’t live close to a therapist they feel comfortable working with, but also don’t want to do virtual counseling.

And intensive couples therapy may be the right choice for couples looking for a “shortcut.” The focused attention and structured nature of intensive therapy allow couples to make significant, meaningful progress quickly. While you can make these breakthroughs in traditional therapy, it may take longer to get there, and some couples may want to “cut to the chase.”

However, using intensive couples therapy as a shortcut only works if couples are willing to apply their newly developed skills outside of the intensives. A shortcut will help couples reach their therapy goals quickly, but that’s just the beginning.

Intensive couples therapy also isn’t for:

• People who need to pause between sessions, whether to process what happened in the session or to practice their skills at home
• Anyone with an active addiction or unaddressed mental health issue
• When one partner is actively engaging in infidelity and won’t stop

Pros and Cons of Intensive Couples Therapy

Like any type of couples therapy, intensive couples therapy has its pros and cons. Here’s what to consider before committing.

The pros of intensive couples therapy include:

• Finances. Intensive couples therapy may be less expensive than traditional couples therapy. While the upfront cost may seem like more, when you do the math, the cost per session compared to traditional couples therapy may actually be less.
• Speed. Because you don’t take breaks between sessions, you’re able to discover and often heal the issues that plague your relationship.
• Depth. Likewise, because you don’t have to stop at the end of the hour, you can explore the issues and concerns that you want to for longer and more deeply.

The cons are:

• Up-front cost. While the overall cost of intensive couples therapy may be less than traditional couples counseling, the up-front cost may be a barrier. Weekly therapy allows you to pay as you go, while intensive couples therapy often requires up-front payment of the entire amount at the time of service.
• False sense of accomplishment. While intensive couples therapy allows you to make significant breakthroughs in a short amount of time, some people may leave the session thinking their relationship is “fixed.” However, that’s not the case. Each partner must still commit to practicing what they learned; otherwise, their relationship will likely slip back into old patterns.
• May not replace weekly therapy. Even if you and your partner feel closer, stronger, and happier after the intensive, you may still need weekly couples therapy sessions to help reinforce what you’ve learned and to ensure you stay on track.

Move Forward Together

Intensive couples therapy is more than a long session. It’s a transformative experience that can give you and your partner the relationship momentum you’ve been looking for. When you’re tired of surviving the relationship and want to repair it, intensive couples therapy may be the right fit for you.

At Anchor Light Therapy, we offer intensive couples marathon therapy based on the Gottman Method. To learn more about our intensive sessions or traditional couples therapy, contact us today and schedule a free consultation.

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